This is the diary of me. I decided to put this into writing just to share my story so someone could learn from it.
I was in my early twenties when i got engaged to my husband. We were so much in love and we were both born again christians. I got pregnant during our first year of courtship, because of our position in church, there was no way we would keep the pregnancy.
So much expectation is placed on you as a church worker and one who is supposed to show example of how true christians should conduct themselves.
Me and my finance knew without any doubt we would have to go for termination before anyone will find out, so we went for a D and C.
We both attended one of these new generational churches and we were both church workers.
We had the termination and I was fine, things carried on as normal, we should have become very careful, looking back now I wish i had known better. I only pray as many as will read this story will be wiser than I was.
There is so much blame you can put on you, the fact is the things you do at a given age and point in your life, there come a time you look back and you just wonder out loud, what was thinking, I pray this is a question you get to ask with a ?really? not with ?regret?
I got pregnant again few months to our wedding, yes you read correctly, i did get pregnant again after the first one and all we went through to ensure no one knew, you would expect us to know better, but it happened.
we planned for another D and C, as earlier said, due to the fact that we were both workers and cannot be wedded with pregnancy, we had to go this route again.
The doctor initially advice us not to terminate the pregnancy, we just had to, there is no way we would not have to terminate.
Again, I under went another D and C, there was no way we were going to be explaining how I got pregnant before the wedding to our respective families and the church.
We couldn?t face the humiliation in the church so we went ahead and terminated the pregnancy against the advice given by the Doctor. The wedding went on, no one knew any better, I was fine, we were fine, settled into married life, now was the time to get to get pregnant.
We got married, now it?s right to get pregnant, but alas i could not conceive again.
Now am in my fifties and we have been married for almost 30yrs without a failed or miscarried pregnancy, not to talk of a baby. However, we are still waiting on the Lord and believing i will still conceive.
We still hoping in the miracle of our lord, I believe i will be blessed with a child. I made the decision to share my life story and the struggle for me to get pregnant after two termination in my teenage years, with the hope that someone will read it, learn from it and be wiser in the years of your youth.
God bless us all. I am a woman of faith, I know my God will not fail me and I know he has forgiven me the sins of my youth.
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