MY HUSBAND’S DRUNKENNESS IS DESTROYING OUR MARRIAGE

Filed in FAMILY by on January 8, 2011

My husband’s drunkenness is destroying our marriage
By Bosede Olusola-Obasa
Saturday, 8 Jan 2011

Everyone who was as my acquaintance as a single lady knew about my dislike for drunkenness. I could not bear the smell of alcohol no matter how insignificant its quantity. This is not because I was so deep in religion; so far, my take on religion only qualifies me as a liberal mind. But I really, really did abhor the smell of anything alcohol and I did not hide it from anyone around me. In order not to offend me, my friends usually denied themselves of that pleasure whenever they really wished to hang out with me.

The man to whom I got married had not always belonged to my circle of friends: we met on the job. I’m a marketer so we met sometime in the course of duty. He appeared every inch like a responsible man to me. We dated for over six months and then started preparations for marriage in earnest.

I had the privilege of meeting his parents and he met my parents too. It was a great experience getting hooked to him on that beautiful Saturday in November 2009. But I can no longer say the same of the marriage because the thing I dread like leprosy now leaves with me perpetually.

I never knew my husband took alcohol, let alone being capable of drinking it to stupor. Yemi, my husband, had some challenges at work that really threatened his employment, but the issue is gradually getting resolved. I have also done the bit I could in terms of encouragement and support – moral and financial – just to see that he maintained his focus but this did not seem to help him.

Yemi took to drinking as a way of assuaging tension and even messes up in the process. Suddenly, he made me a point of amusement before our neighbours. Once and again, Yemi will come home after work without his shoes, his shirt hanging over his shoulder and such awful stench that is worse than a brewery mill. The first time I saw him in this picture I almost fainted. I could not find the correlation between the personality that I married and the person I was looking at.

Life has been worse than miserable for me since that first night; meanwhile, the episodes of him returning home drunk have not stopped. I have since stopped sleeping with him in the same bedroom to avoid getting choked up in the thick of his odour.

I manage to talk things over with him in the early hours of the day, if only to make him see that I was gradually losing touch with the home I once truly cherished and looked forward to. After every such discussion, he usually promises to turn over a new leaf. To keep to his promise, he could do away with the bottle for one week, but he soon returns to it.

Initially, I was restrained from letting more people know about what had been happening, but at a point I had to speak with a few close family members and his contemporaries on the trend. I have not seen changes yet and I am really nearing my wits end. It is purely out of commitment to the home that I have not moved my things out because life is being gradually taken out of me.

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