Fresh agenda for Nigeria
By JK Randle
Wednesday, February 10, 2010

In year 2000, Nigeria went into panic over the “Millennium Bug.” Billions of Naira were given to the then Minister of Science and Technology. It turned out there was no Bug after all. Nobody asked any questions about what happened to the money because we already knew the answer – it was eaten by the Bug!!

It was quickly replaced by another flavor of the month – Vision 2010 which promised
El Dorado, otherwise known as Paradise (not excluding the bonus of 77 virgins). The opposition were quick to point out that 20: 10 meant that it was time to start wearing corrective glasses or surgically mend the faulty lens. Nobody listened.

At any rate, here we are in 2010 and not much has changed between 2000 and now. Correction. We have had a plethora of seminars, workshops, lectures, retreats, exhibitions, economic summits, breakfast sessions – and more seminars.

We have volumes and volumes of reports to attest to our zeal as well as our diligence. However, most of the reports are just gathering dust. Nobody bothers to read them. We just dust them up when it is time for the next seminar and change a few pages here and there. Then we start all over again. It has become a thriving industry on its own.
Since we cannot redeem our pledge or fulfill the promises freely made before 2010, all we need to do is break the figures at the edges and bingo we have the mighty Vision 2010. That is when Nigeria is scheduled to take over Belgium as the twentieth most powerful country in the global economy.

We cannot afford to dismiss Vision 2020 as an optical illusion. Rather, it is a huge challenge and it offers us an excellent opportunity to redeem ourselves. Otherwise, the nation will run out of patience and demand restitution or penalties for breach of promise.
What is truly frightening is that Nigeria is trapped in combustible mix of endemic conflicts which are driven by: Ethnic rivalry, Religion, Resource Control (oil and gas) and Ignorance, Endemic Corruption.

As for the economy, those who have concluded that it is in shambles have plenty of evidence – provided freely by the Central Bank of Nigeria. It has become a nightmare which only serves to confirm our worst fears.
Three hundred years ago, the Philosopher Williams Crawford observed:
“The easiest way to rob a bank is to own it.”
About one hundred years ago, a French philosopher Voltaire added a new dimension:
“If you see a banker jump out of a window, follow him. There is bound to be profit in it.”
What is beyond doubt is that we do have some banks which are very professional and diligent. They know their onions. However, monumental damage has been inflicted on the real sector of our economy. While we have been romancing Oil and Gas, industries are collapsing all over the country.

As for agriculture, we are now at the point where we import Irish potatoes from South Africa.
To further compound matters, we have to contend with vicious statistics which only serve to confirm our worst fears and realities of excruciating pain combined with elongated suffering —— in the midst of plenty.
Not only do we have to grapple with the scourge of HIV/AIDS, cancer, malaria, diabetes and cardio-vascular diseases have run amok. Yet these are mostly the diseases of the affluent society!! This is indeed a cruel irony considering that grinding poverty is the fate of most Nigerians.
It used to be the case that what you do not know cannot kill you but what are we to make of the frightening statistics which capture both maternity and infant mortality rates?
They have conspired to kill our nation slowly. Our average life expectancy is now hovering between 42 and 45 years. By way of contrast average life of expectancy in the United States of America is 78 for males and 82 for females.

As far as businessmen and women are concerned, the ultimate terrorist is power (or the lack of it!!) particularly electricity.
Government may be all powerful but it cannot compel or command the love and support of its citizens. Emperors tried and failed. So also did Pharaohs. At the end of the day, it is the scorecard of the rulers that will ensure the loyalty of their subjects.
We have adopted the American presidential system but there is a limit to what the United States of America can do for us at this point in time.
The Nigerian dilemma revolves around the torment of our souls by our disenchantment with the British Parliamentary System which we jettisoned in favour of the American Presidential system.

Chartered Accountants have resorted to self-mockery as their only contribution to the raging debate. Sample:
“What do you get when you cross a chartered accountant with another chartered accountant?”
Answer: A frustrated chartered accountant.
As for the economists, they too have a story to tell.
An economist walks into the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York. He demands from the barman:
“Do you serve economists?”
Answer: “Indeed, yes we do.”
The economist goes back to his car and pulls out a crocodile.
He now tells the barman.

“I will have a beer for myself and my crocodile will have an economist.”
The quick-witted Irish barman has an entirely different agenda:
“Why not treat your crocodile to cocktails? We call it the “croco special” made
up of accountants, economists, bankers and those Wall Street jerks.”
Thankfully, Ikedi Ohakim, Governor of Imo State is not a chartered accountant, economist, or investment banker. He was on CNN the other day and spoke eloquently on the subject of the turbulent Niger-Delta area of Nigeria.

“We all know that we have a lot of crocodiles in the Niger-Delta. However, one of the reasons people of the Niger-Delta had been critical of past efforts is that they appear to be imposed on the people. The people of the area must be fully involved in designing and executing real development in the Niger-Delta. Also, it will spell disaster for the politics of the region, should the militants be made to believe that they are the new godfathers of the politics of the region.

“It frightens me that there are voices that we used to hear in the Niger-Delta that are not being heard today.”
Perhaps I should add that just a few months before the US financial crisis which rapidly developed into a global meltdown I was a guest at a “Black Tie” dinner hosted by a major international financial services powerhouse in Hong Kong and the Guest Speaker was the Chief Economist and Global Strategist of Goldman Sachs. Dinner was served before the speeches. Champagne and wine were being dished out by eager hostesses who would not take no for an answer. The guy from Goldman Sachs dwelt at great length on the huge opportunities that were on offer by China, India, Middle East, Russia and even Vietnam. As far as I can recall, there was no mention whatever of Africa, not even South Africa.

You must forgive me for being surprised to learn that the same Goldman Sachs had launched a “buy order” with respect to Nigeria as the flavour of the month come year 2010. I have since read the text of what Goldman Sachs actually said about our beloved country and the spin we have been putting on the prognosis which was as subjective as it was qualified. A clear case of “subject to” (to borrow the auditors’ parlance). It is either we have chosen to sex up the Goldman Sachs dossier on Nigeria or somebody is being too clever by half.
In any case, Nigerians want 2020 now ——- not ten years hence.