Gay shocker
Most wealthy Nigerians are homosexuals — NGO boss
From Andy Elerewe, Abuja

As she narrated her girlfriend’s ill-treatment towards her, she gasped for breath while tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Panting inconsolably, she struggled to express how badly she couldn’t do without her despite all what happened between them.

Probably in her mid-twenties, the young, dark and gorgeous lady was one of the homosexuals who had come that Friday evening for counselling on issues bordering on their respective relationships. Visible among them were corporate workers and National Youth Service Corps members.

As they sat in pairs of same sex, listening to one another, their countenance painted a picture of trauma and worry. But after about two hours of interaction with their counsellor, Ifeanyi Kelly Orazulike, smiles appeared again on their faces.
Orazulike, 30, an open gay man, who is the Executive Director of International Centre for Advocacy on the Right to Health (ICARH) shortly after the counselling session, in an exclusive interview, told our reporter that the hostile nature of the society towards ‘his community’ led to the formation of ICARH.

It was gathered that ICARH, formally known as Alliance for the Right to Health, was established by late Dare Odumoye more than a decade ago. The non-governmental organization basically provides services for sexual minorities like Men who have Sex with Men (MSM), known as gay men and lesbians, who are women who have sex with women and transgender people in Nigeria.
The NGO offers these classes of people counselling on HIV/AIDS and human rights violations while providing them items like condoms, lubricants as well as information communication materials on HIV/AIDS. It is funded by international donor agencies and the National Action Committee on AIDS (NACA).

Meanwhile, homosexuality, a practice of sex between same sex persons, has continued to attract huge public indignation world over. And obviously because of strong cultural ties, coupled with recent geometric growth in religion, the practice is said to have received more condemnation in Africa than anywhere else in the world.
However, amid the stiff opposition evident in the increased public outcry, Orazulike sensationally said homosexuality had come to stay in Nigeria, adding that the earlier everyone realized this the better.
Just as government has a mandate to protect the rights of those with regular sexual behavior, the Abia State-born Marketing graduate argued that the same government must first come to terms with the fact that gay and lesbians exist and must be allowed their fundamental human rights.

Acknowledging that the homosexual community in Nigeria is confronted with enormous challenges, Orazulike said the most daunting of their problems is the same sex prohibition bill before the National Assembly. Alt hough he believes that the legislators would at the end see reason and not pass the bill, he however warned that there are dire consequences with much to lose if they eventually do.
“Nigeria stands to lose a lot if the National Assembly passes the bill. It is not only in Nigeria that we have gay people. Many foreign investors are gay. So it is going to affect the friendship between Nigeria and other countries. These investors would not want to come to Nigeria because many of them are married to their partners.
“Besides, it is important to note that over 60 per cent of the people that control the world’s wealth are gay. And the same thing is applicable here in Nigeria. In Nigeria, we have several men in high places that are gay. Many of them are also bisexual though,” Orazulike said confidently.

The alumnus of Abia State University also sensationally revealed that like him, most homosexuals in Nigeria still attend churches and mosques with an opinion that their sexual lives shouldn’t affect their relationship with God.
He however said that if any of the religions threatens their peaceful existence, the homosexual community was ready to begin its own church in Nigeria.
“At the moment, we all go about our religious practice very peacefully and without any harassment. But if we have any reason to doubt our safety in either the church or mosque, we would send our members to pastoral schools abroad and then establish our own homosexual worship center.”

Drawing inference from his personal experience, the young man, who claimed to have overcome pressure from his family, relatives, friends, among others concerning his newly found way of life, said: “One thing I learnt from my boss is that you have to have self-respect. You have to be focused. I was able to get through all these because I read a lot. I was able to discover who I really am and how I was doing what I am doing. I read a lot about people who have been gay for about 20 to 30 years, learning from them how they have been able to cope. I feel when people start stigmatizing you, it is because they are not well informed.”

On how he handles the pressure from his family, he added: “It wasn’t really easy actually, but what would my family do? Even if they reject me by disowning me, does that change the fact that I am their son? The truth is that I am their biological child. I was able to overcome it because I had to educate them as to the fact that this is the life I have chosen to live. If I hadn’t I would still be living the life of denial.”
On his religious belief, he retorted: “Of course I am a Christian; in fact, a practicing Christian. The church I attend is personal to me. I believe Christianity and salvation is a personal thing. Let God be the judge if I am wrong or right.

“I grew up in a Christian home. So I couldn’t have been influenced by anyone. In fact, before I had my sexual experience as a gay man I was already over 22 years of age, about 24 or thereabout. And since then I have had several other relationships with men.”
But do they derive pleasure from having intercourse with someone of same sex? Ifeanyi replied: “Although who I sleep with should not be anyone’s business, I make bold to say that I am a gay. But like regular sex, there is pleasure and discomfort in having sex with same person.”

Dismissing insinuations that being gay is a psychological defect, he said: “No, it is not as a result of psychological problem. I always tell people that some are born gay while some are made gay. Some were born that way like my case. Nobody told me this is who I really am. I am not gay because of money. I don’t sleep with men because of money either. But this is how I grew up and found myself responding to it. It is part of me and I do not regret it at all.”
Interestingly, Ifeanyi is married, but he said for some last minute unresolved issues, he would have been married to his ex-boyfriend whom he dated for many years.

Like others of like minds hanging out together, Orazulike says the homosexual community in Nigeria is very organized with a large network on how members reach out to one another. “Because it is my community, I know how to locate them, how to find them and locate them. I feel happier being with gay people. This is who I am. I mean these are people I can say anything to without holding back.”
On ICARH’s focus, he said: “Like you will hear some of them saying things like ‘it’s better for me, after all I don’t sleep with women so I cannot contact HIV.’

“It does not work that way because the easiest and the fastest way of contracting HIV is through unprotected anal sex be it with a woman or man. And that for me is a big risk. So we offer them lubricants and condoms, and other advocacy and sensitization programmes. We also provide HTCs, HIV counseling and testing. We do syndrome management for STIs. That is those that have gonorrhea and syphilis.”
He also said that the age-long issues that border on stigmatization and self esteem are more or less personal. “It depends on how you see yourself. Some see themselves as ‘I am condemned already.’

So you find out that whatever you do to us, some of us would rather want to put up some form of defense. So they would rather answer you very harshly, and this makes people to misbehave towards you. So it is really how one is able to comport him or herself, you understand. If I did not tell you I was gay, you wouldn’t know. I am an open gay man but I don’t rub other peoples’ noses in it. So, if I don’t tell you, you wouldn’t know. Unlike some people, I cannot come and start torching you. I can’t even see you on the street and say hi, I am gay and then start toasting you.”